The Chandler Essays #4: USING PRIDE TO BECOME A BETTER ALLY & ENCOURAGING OTHERS TO DO THE SAME.

"Though far outnumbered let us show us brave,

And for their thousand blows deal one death-blow!

What though before us lies the open grave?

Like men we'll face the murderous, cowardly pack,

Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!"

— Claud McKay, IF WE MUST DIE

Similarly to my promise statement sparked by the George Floyd protests, which you can find here, I am showing my support for the LGBTQ+ community.

There are millions of people who can explain the importance of Pride better than I can. But to those like me who are heterosexual, cisgender, and white, there are plenty of reasons why we should show our support.

Pride plays a significant role in America's social history, and I've often wondered why schools never taught students about the Stonewall Riots, Harvey Milk, or the oppression of the Gay and Lesbian community brought on by the AIDs epidemic.

I learned issues about gender and sexuality from my friends and family, rather than inside the classroom.

Privileged to grow up in a socially-liberal environment, I participated in the GLSEN Day of Silence and supported LGBTQ+ businesses in Philadelphia's GAYborhood.

Yet the U.S. didn't completely legalize same-sex marriage until June 26, 2015, and I didn't realize until I was 21 to hear Pride Month was a thing.

That was two years ago, and the first march along Greenwich Village's Christopher Street began in 1970.

...Yikes!

So I was looking forward to celebrating what would be my first experience of Pride festivities.

Since Philadelphia pushed it back to September 2020, I will have to wait a little longer, but it'll be worthwhile.

For now, I celebrate in spirit, and I encourage other straight people to do the same.

Why? Because not only is now the perfect time to show your solidarity with all socially oppressed groups in America, but because Pride represents the valuable ideas of Self-Affirmation, Dignity, and Equality.

Dig this:

Self-Affirmation:

Roger MK's Psychology of the Real Self: Psychoanalytic Perspectives defines self-affirmation as, "increasing the positivity of the self, especially after a threat to self-esteem (2015)."

In other words, love yourself.

People can cope with grief, guilt, hurt, and struggle by affirming their values— enhancing self-esteem and positive motivation within an unfair society.

Studies such as Cohen et al. (2009) say self-affirmation can help close the achievement gap.

A later study from Sandra Graham's International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Sciences (Second Edition) revealed, "African-American students in the values affirmation condition attained higher grades over the course of the school year... (2015)."

Well-intended white people can use these practices to become better allies.

We are afraid to speak out in conversations that make us uncomfortable (i.e., race, gender, sexuality, class, inequality) due to low self-esteem and fear we have nothing to offer.

But practicing self-affirmation encourages all people to express how they feel and allow for more productive conversations.

Dignity:

To have dignity is to embody the one rule worth following, the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

I'm not trying to shove Christianity down your throat. (I am not a Christian.) Instead, I'm reminding those who are socially privileged like me to see yourself in a different light.

You are not in the center of the universe.

If you feel inconvenienced by rioting, try and put yourself in their shoes. And if you're nervous, remember that this has happened before. Pride itself, a celebration of love, acceptance, and unity, stemmed from a violent year of police aggression and social oppression.

Talking about inequality isn't enough. It would help if you educated yourself, learn about LGTBQ+ History, Black History, etc., attend protests, and treat others with dignity.

I promise it will only make you appreciate yourself all the more.

Equality:

When I speak on equality, I am not talking about absolute equality, where dissimilarities are entirely absent.

Social and economic equality promotes fairness and allows opportunities for all people.

Continuous inequality brought on by white supremacy has brought detrimental consequences to our nation. The Stonewall Riots to list a historical example. I'll leave you to think of a contemporary one.

Now that we're witnessing the consequences from years of social unrest, it's time to reaffirm our values, show more dignity, and push for equality.

Let Pride be your excuse to become a stronger ally, and hopefully, we can make June the month of progress.

With love,

Will

Amari.Will@Gmail.com